The reaction I was supposed to have the first time I read this handout, and all other times I've been exposed to it on humor websites is one of dread and fondness for being free of the shackles of "oppression" that befell those victim women in their nice houses in the sprawling suburbs. Being the traditionally minded, hyper domestic weirdo I am, though, my reaction is quite contrary to what's expected. For the most part, I believe the list is an ideal way to behave, structure one's days, and treat one's husband if being a good wife to him and having a successful marriage is a priority. The only thing that I find questionable on the list is not batting an eyelash if your husband was out all night for the simple reason that my husband not coming home for dinner & not answering his phone would be so out of character that calling hospitals panic would enter my mind right then. ;o)
Despite that one little misgiving about the list, I have to wonder why a wife treating her husband well is not something to be laughed at and featured as a parody on websites. Is making your home a place worth coming home to, a shelter from the outside world, and looking forward to your husband's arrival oppressive? Is expecting him to be hungry and in need of a good home-cooked meal that difficult to figure out? Is devising little ways to make your home most comfy for the man you loved, the one you vowed forever to something that there isn't time for in today's "busy world"? Does having a seasonally appropriate refreshing drink and snack ready for him to munch on while he unwinds and dinner finishes up really take heaps of time out of a person's day? What about baking cookies for his lunchbox or making coffee in the morning? All of the little things that make a house a home or show somebody they are cared about, loved, and thought about all day really do not take that much time in the grand scheme of things. He works hard all day, all of these small bits are the least of what he deserves.
I understand there are many couples who both work outside the home nowadays, but I don't think this is a good excuse to treat your husband and family badly or to neglect the important duties that make a house at home and provide a rich family culture for your loved ones. With a little creativity and planning, homemade food can be served, a house can be tended to in a relatively small amount of time, and laundry can be accomplished in an orderly fashion. Cooking extra meals for the freezer (OAMC as it's often called), using a crockpot, a good household routine ala Fly Lady or Martha, and a designated time to do laundry, perhaps even with some baking or cleaning done while waiting for loads to finish, can all go a long way in having a well-run home for your husband to enjoy. These are among the many tricks I have found for getting everything done around here, with childrearing, homeschooling, homesteading, business tending, and homekeeping duties to attend to.
Sure, we're in the days of equality so the Good Wife's Guide is depicting a parody of archaic ideas that shouldn't matter in today's world, but look where "equality" and the resulting competition have gotten us. Look around and tell me if this is really good and rewarding, ladies. If we're blessed with a husband, we should treat him well and worry more about what we can do for him than what he can do for us. The moaning, groaning, and competing being fostered by equality ideas just isn't worth it, if it costs us so dearly. Love your husband, dedicate yourself to him, and strive to be a Good Wife to him. You're lucky to have him in your life!
10 comments:
The world needs more women like you. God bless.
Nice one.
I recall a radio phone regarding said list, and those of the feminist persuasion all derided it predictably, and all admitted they were unhappy in their relationships.
Those women that phoned in and pointed out that the spirit of it is to show respect to your partner, and that actually it is not all that bad were all happy in their relationship.
Love breeds love.
Although a quick search on Snopes could be a plan regarding the article.
wobs-The article I linked to on wiki already notes the questionable origins of the article. ;o) Fake or not I'm not too concerned as the ideas represented aren't anything that different to what I was taught about wifehood, homemaking, and so forth growing up.
Plus mentioning the article can be a great way to see who is worthy of being a friend. A woman who would find treating her husband with respect to be oppression is no friend of mine and somebody I'd like to shield my daughter from at her impressionable young age.
This was great to read. I originally came from:
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/27/megablogger-steve-pavlina-facing-divorce-annihilation/
Amazing discussion going on there.
As for your blog post: I think it doesn't matter who is at home, so long as they know how to tend to a home.
Note that I did not say 'house'. A house is just a giant box with people living in it; a home is where the love is. :)
'The only thing that I find questionable on the list is not batting an eyelash if your husband was out all night'
I'm willing to bet that that was a later addition to the list (if in fact the list is real). I cannot imagine women being told in a women's magazine not to worry if their husband stays out all night, in that era, when 'family' meant a lot more than it seems to now. Since it's being used as propaganda, it has to have some shocking aspect to it for contrast with the present.
Great post, thanks for sharing the existence of this guide.
It is similar to the ideas in Fascinating Womanhood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascinating_Womanhood), but in condensed form. Helpful as it will be easy to refresh on the main points :-)
Time management techniques are important, including how to manage a home including cooking and cleaning. So I appreciated the links to resources as well! :-)
LSB- I never thought of this list as a condensed form of "Fascinating Womanhood" but how right you are. Helen Andelin has another book titled "Fascinating Girlhood" that discusses femininity and cultivating "wife skills" for young girls and teenagers. Both are wonderful books IMHO.
Oops, crella here, for some reason my post came up 'Anonymous' although I typed my name in.
Hestia,
It's because the vast majority of think that treating their man decently is oppressive that I'm not married. I've seen women in the office I used to work at engage in a game of oneupwomanship of who could treat their man the worst-sick! No way am I tying the knot...
MarkyMark
Wow...I was showed this list in school as well. Along with what your teachers did, mine mocked it too.
This definitely says something about the unified nature of misandry in public school.
I had an issue with two of the items on the list. One: Don't worry if he comes home late. I suppose with the advent of cell phones it's easier to circumvent this detail. My boyfriend is very considerate - if he finds himself out at some spontaneous outing, he'll call and let me know all the details.
The second one: never question his Judgement. Err....something bothers me about blindly following someone without analytical thought. A woman definitely should not harp her man over every last decision he makes - but if he makes a bad one I'd be concerned for his well being. It would be hard for me not to say anything.
With those two aside, I definitely agree with the list.
I've started making seasonally appropriate drinks for my bf: Hot Apple Cider mixed with two pumps of caramel sauce. If you want to give it a bit of spice, add a pinch of Chai. It's yummy!
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